Terrified

One of the most terrifying points in the wilderness experience is when you realize your provision has completely run out. I imagine the Israelites must have felt some fear when they were three days or so out into the barren desert and no food had showed up yet.

They only had the provision they could carry and what was packed on their livestock. It couldn't have lasted long. Suddenly, there they are, in the hot blazing heat of the desert, following this man Moses, that they haven't even known for very long, who claims to have heard from the God who hasn't spoken to any of them in 400 years.

They're walking along, tired, weary, dusty...the children are probably getting pretty cranky in the heat. By that time everyone would have been blaming the other for talking them into that insane trek out into the desert.

No one goes out to the desert. Everyone knows we can't survive out here! And where's the water, Moses? Did you bring us out here to let us bake in the desert? Because we don't see any provision out here. What do you mean you don't know what we're going to eat? At least in Egypt we had garlic and leeks and onions! What are we going to feed our families.... sand?

Then came that terrifying morning when the last of their food was gone, the very last morsel had been eaten. And those children looked up at them with hunger still in their eyes. What now, Moses?

And we face those same moments in our own wilderness walks. God says go and we go, taking whatever provision we can carry, and we believe and we start walking it out and then.....

Suddenly our provision is all gone.  What now, Lord? You said You would take care of me, right? Trust You? Okay, I'm trying.

And the enemy sees your vulnerability. He has waited for this moment, the moment when nothing around you looks certain. He already knows the Lord will provide for those who walk in faith, so all he has to do is get you to doubt. Just a little bit of doubt, that's all he needs. At first he sows a little bit of fear, then he'll start suggesting scenarios....What if this? What if that? What if the rent really doesn't come in? Where will you go? What will you tell your wife? She already has her doubts about you. Aren't you supposed to provide for her? How will this look to the children? A great man of faith you are. Can't even believe for rent....
And on and on he goes.

Be assured if you walk in the wilderness, you will face the end of your provision at some point. It is the point when we come to the end of being our own provider. That is what we have always known, providing for ourselves. And letting go of that is terrifying because, although we truly want to trust Him, and we can believe all day long for someone else's provision, it's a lot more frightening believing for our own dinner to appear out of thin air, isn't it?

But He wants to prove Himself to you as well as to those you pray for. He wants you to know Him as your provider, as the great Jehovah-Jireh. And the only way that can ever happen is if you first come to the end of your own provision, your own way.

Then He will begin to teach you His.