Terrified

One of the most terrifying points in the wilderness experience is when you realize your provision has completely run out. I imagine the Israelites must have felt some fear when they were three days or so out into the barren desert and no food had showed up yet.

They only had the provision they could carry and what was packed on their livestock. It couldn't have lasted long. Suddenly, there they are, in the hot blazing heat of the desert, following this man Moses, that they haven't even known for very long, who claims to have heard from the God who hasn't spoken to any of them in 400 years.

They're walking along, tired, weary, dusty...the children are probably getting pretty cranky in the heat. By that time everyone would have been blaming the other for talking them into that insane trek out into the desert.

No one goes out to the desert. Everyone knows we can't survive out here! And where's the water, Moses? Did you bring us out here to let us bake in the desert? Because we don't see any provision out here. What do you mean you don't know what we're going to eat? At least in Egypt we had garlic and leeks and onions! What are we going to feed our families.... sand?

Then came that terrifying morning when the last of their food was gone, the very last morsel had been eaten. And those children looked up at them with hunger still in their eyes. What now, Moses?

And we face those same moments in our own wilderness walks. God says go and we go, taking whatever provision we can carry, and we believe and we start walking it out and then.....

Suddenly our provision is all gone.  What now, Lord? You said You would take care of me, right? Trust You? Okay, I'm trying.

And the enemy sees your vulnerability. He has waited for this moment, the moment when nothing around you looks certain. He already knows the Lord will provide for those who walk in faith, so all he has to do is get you to doubt. Just a little bit of doubt, that's all he needs. At first he sows a little bit of fear, then he'll start suggesting scenarios....What if this? What if that? What if the rent really doesn't come in? Where will you go? What will you tell your wife? She already has her doubts about you. Aren't you supposed to provide for her? How will this look to the children? A great man of faith you are. Can't even believe for rent....
And on and on he goes.

Be assured if you walk in the wilderness, you will face the end of your provision at some point. It is the point when we come to the end of being our own provider. That is what we have always known, providing for ourselves. And letting go of that is terrifying because, although we truly want to trust Him, and we can believe all day long for someone else's provision, it's a lot more frightening believing for our own dinner to appear out of thin air, isn't it?

But He wants to prove Himself to you as well as to those you pray for. He wants you to know Him as your provider, as the great Jehovah-Jireh. And the only way that can ever happen is if you first come to the end of your own provision, your own way.

Then He will begin to teach you His.

The Tempter in the Wilderness

I will never forget the first time I was thrown into the wilderness. That first wilderness walk was not voluntary, and I had no idea what had happened to my life. And I wanted my life back. Badly.

I was in a fairly strong walk with the Lord, meaning I had a lot of faith, but not all that much scriptural knowledge at that point, having walked with Him only about two years when it happened. I was still refusing to stay away from sins I knew I should leave alone. But He had my heart and I was drawing closer to Him all the time.

It would be years before I learned that the wilderness is a time of refining when everything solid around you no longer is, when you feel as if someone just yanked the rug out from under your life and you desperately look for something solid to hang on to until they put it back.

As you walk through the wilderness, trying to find some direction for your life, others will gaze at your life and whisper, wondering if you have sinned and displeased God and you are being punished for it. They will wonder if you are insane as you continue to speak of faith in the face of what appears to be loss and tragedy in your life.

The enemy will send many for these purposes, and he himself will also whisper - he will  accuse you - to others and to yourself. He will accuse God before you, trying to persuade you to abandon your faith, to think it is all a big game to a god who does not care about you. He will try to convince you that God can't possibly come through for you as if He were a weak and puny god, not the mighty Jehovah God we know from the Bible.

He will continually suggest many scenarios of failure to you and try to get you to buy in to at least one of them. He will tell you nothing will ever get better, that things will always be this bad, except as they grow even worse. He knows if he does not stop the power of your faith, it is he who will fail.

And when you feel alone there in the wilderness and nothing around you seems certain, when you don't know which way to turn for help and everything that worked for you before has stopped working, his accusations and scenarios of failure will sound almost like truth. He will tempt you to become angry at God, to lash out, as he did Job.


This is where many will abandon the wilderness and run back to Egypt, never attaining the golden treasures the wilderness offers them. But those who continue on in the face of the fiery trials are  molded by the master of all potters, refined like silver, and through affliction become vessels fit for the Master's use. They will be changed from glory to glory into the image of His Son, little by little, if they yield to His refining, and they will walk out of the wilderness with a gift in their hands they could have attained by no other path.

A Wilderness Experience Unparalleled Is Coming for Many

The afternoon of November 10th, 2011, as the Lord was giving me the word 'Change is Coming' to release on Blog Talk Radio, my artist friend was fasting and deep in prayer. He received this message, which he agreed to let me share here. I share it because he did know what I was releasing on Blog Talk - even I did not know until the Lord finished giving me that word on Thursday, November 11th. There is no way my friend could have known the message, and yet the one he received is very similar. I think it is worth sharing. Some of the sentences are just short phrases and I do not claim to understand every sentence, but the message he received is clear. A wilderness experience unparalleled is coming for many.

   I prepare a place for you, from before the world was, Boaz, Neomi, Ruth, to be a near Kinsman, widow, fatherless, to lead to safety many.

     The best for last.

     Good gifts unto my children, listen for My voice, I will lead you, Your path to shine before you, green pastures, still waters.

     Man and woman, I created them. The two shall become one flesh, helpmeets, as contained all the substance for love. Wait on me I will perform it. All things in their time, be patient, trust in me, be still do not fear.

     Many things are coming upon the earth. My judgments stand. My laws have they broken. My fury raises up in my face. Many knees will turn into water in this time. My children will shine as the sun in brightness. I am their Rock, their Fortress, their high tower, Under my wings are they protected. The plagues of Egypt will they know, all who defile My Name.

     Fear will overtake them, they will not be passed over. A scourge will be upon them, a stinking, grievous sores, A lacking to them. Many will seek shelter and find none. Only those who walk with God will find protection from the destroyer.

     Woe, Woe, Woe to the inhabitants of the Earth for those things which are about to come.

     Long have I pleaded, warnings as a father corrects his children, but they would not turn. Return to me, for days upon days.

     Wail for that that comes.

     Eyes have they, but they do not see, Ears have they, but they do not hear

     Hearts of flint they have. Crushed to powder.

     Those who turn to me I will save, as a hen gathers her chicks.

     I Am the good shepherd, My yoke is light, My burden easy.


His name is Fred. His email address is manyrounds@gmail.com if you want to contact him about this word. He is not on the internet often, he has gone away with the Lord for a time of fasting and praying for direction while working on his art.

First Draft of Introduction to My New Upcoming Book, The Wilderness Companion

An avid reader of Christian books, I have often wished I had a powerful testimony to share with others and help them believe in the living God as well. I never expected to have a grand enough testimony to write a book about and I was surprised when the Lord sent me a word through several different people within a week last year that He wanted me to write a book.

For months I prayed and struggled to understand what the book was to be about. What is it You want me to write about, Lord? What can I possibly know enough about to put into a book for You?

Finally, late in 2011, the answer came. I want you to tell others about the wilderness. I want you to tell them about how I took care of you there.

This book is the story of my journeys through the desert places and what I learned while traveling through. The desert places are not places of comfort and when you are in that barren place, when the heat is on and nothing in your life is the same as it was before, it is there that you will learn more than ever before about yourself, and about your God.

To go through the wilderness experience, you must be willing to walk for days and days into a desolate wasteland, carrying nothing but your faith and not knowing how you will feed yourself or your family, not knowing how you will meet your obligations, not knowing if it will cost you everything you have. You know only that you have heard His voice and must obey.

You must be willing to step out of the security of your comfort zone onto the terrifying waves and stay where there is nothing solid in your circumstances to stand on as the storms batter you and the enemy does his utmost to terrify you. You have to be willing to lose relationships when people distance themselves from associating with you, when they mock and doubt and think you've lost your mind.  You have to take your eyes off the backs of those walking away and the things you may lose and train your eyes on Jesus and keep saying "What's the next step, Lord?" You must know in your heart that Jesus said "Come!" and keep walking in spite of being ridiculed, in spite of being abandoned, in spite of the fear and terror that rise up when nothing around you looks solid enough to plant your feet on. You must wholeheartedly believe in what you are doing and for whom, and keep putting one foot in front of the other until you can look down and see the gift in your hands and you come out the other side having passed the test.

When the disciples decided to follow Jesus, they risked everything for what they believed. They were business men and family men. You know their friends must have questioned their decision. You know their spouses certainly did, since they were going up against the Pharisees, who had the power to influence others in the community against showing them favor and even had the power to do them harm. But they risked it all for what they knew to be truth, to help spread the news that Jesus was truly the Messiah, the word made flesh to save the world from its sinfulness and make a way for us all to go to Heaven and be with Him for all eternity.

You have to learn to trust Him - really trust Him. Trust Him with everything and everyone that are important to you. And trust Him even more when you thought you already did. He will stretch your faith until it can be stretched no more, and then He'll stretch it a little further. Like a rubber band pulled to its limit, you think surely you will break and all will be lost as you cling to Him with every ounce of faith you have inside you. And then He stretches you yet again.

The prize that waits at the end of a wilderness walk is priceless but the walk is not free. Wilderness walking will always cost you something. Often it costs you material things as we must all lighten our loads to make it up the narrow path - it gets narrower the higher up we go. It may costs you your home, your vocation. But it will cost you more than that - it will cost you relationships, it will cost you your dreams, it will cost you your pride. 


And if you have enough courage to keep walking when the fire burns all around you, it will at last cost you yourself.